I NEED A MOMENT

I need a moment.

Don't look shocked, you knew this was coming.

I need a moment to get away from this nagging voice inside my head.
The voice that used to be my source of comfort when you tortured my soul, only that now it seems like a curse, because its threatening to take away my sanity.

I would rather have my sanity than have you beside me.

Even though you are my guilty pleasure. Maybe I should give in to you just this one time. I swear it feels so good to have you here; or……….. I would rather not.

Don't stare at me with puppy eyes. I have become oblivious to your charms.

Don't caress my flesh; I have become immune to your touch.

Don't even dare to whisper sweet words to me, talk is cheap. a lot of people seem to have something to say these days. At least I could make sense about what they say because they talk about how lovely the weather is today, how someone stole money from public funds, how BH is going on a killing spree, how there are so many evils in our world today; but your whispers are empty nothings.

As it would seem yesterday, we had an amazing time together. We were high on each other, the urge was so great that I couldn't wait to be in your arms; conscious of what I was doing, my soul was crying out begging for release but you would have none of it.

You used me. Are you surprised? because I seemed to enjoy it too.
But It was all for the glorification of your master; you weren't even doing it for you,
I like your master better because he has balls, you are nothing but a pawn in his hands; just like I am.

After all was said and done, you left me feeling empty; because for each time you go, a little part of me goes with you. Guilt overshadowed me; I have contemplated suicide three times this morning.

I need a moment.
To think about whether I would take my life, because just like you, I have a master too. And there you thought you owned me.

The truth is I betrayed him.

I made a modern day Baal out of my selfish desires to please my flesh. Judas reincarnated.

I need a moment.

To think if I must continue to have my fleeting pleasure with you or return to my master.

But wait…………..

I already decided on what I needed to do.
I will take a moment to say these things to you.

Leave me be!
I will have no part in your senseless games anymore.
I won't let you use me anymore.
I won't feel the need to kill myself each time you leave me feeling empty and worthless.
I will be free.

Or will i?

I know better than to feel any remorse for what I am about to do to you, I am dumping your sorry ass.

Knowing my master enough, he won't even blink before accepting me, even though he would have none of my evil deeds, he wholly accepts me.

Unlike you, who was always all up in my face about my flaws.

I choose to not kill myself like Judas. I know that no matter how badly my performance is; he will wipe my board and give me a clean slate.

I need a moment to say a prayer for me and all those people you cheated on me with; those who are still swooning and drooling over how amazing you are, they would come to know the truth soon.

Last night I called you dearest, it sounded so good to be with someone who gave me temporal comfort, tonight I tag you 'SIN'

I choose not to fraternize with you anymore.

Just in case you were wondering who my master is. Ask your master to tell you but wait again……….he will just lie and belittle my master to up his rep; so I will do you a favor by telling you.

He is Jesus Christ the one who taketh away the "SINS" of the world.

I need a moment more to tell you this.
Never again will I hear your name and feel butterflies in my stomach.
I am casting you away like the piece of trash that you are.

I need a moment to tell you this too.

I love someone else now. You have become my EX and it feels so good to say that without any pain in my heart.

So long, farewell.

With indifference,Suzanne.

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN