tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78225673060461308012024-03-21T22:05:51.578-07:00REFLECTIONSbreaking boundariesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-71994248872388136512014-09-22T07:20:00.001-07:002014-09-22T07:20:06.290-07:00<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFMPjoheF-qcQjxUQMxe-y-jK1Z8yInbo4wvByqTMIbUOnUk5TN1UtR2aEeM-_2iV8MDU31ebB75Zdx5BgtHCWGDYEG7M5cpHzrfx8I1DFJcgNNbU4jIwOKJmQ3UQt8oQdxsQ1iAaBwIE/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FMGFjZGJlYmFhZGYzNzVjMjU3YzI2Mzc0MjkyMzZhNmMuanBn%253F%253D-706290"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFMPjoheF-qcQjxUQMxe-y-jK1Z8yInbo4wvByqTMIbUOnUk5TN1UtR2aEeM-_2iV8MDU31ebB75Zdx5BgtHCWGDYEG7M5cpHzrfx8I1DFJcgNNbU4jIwOKJmQ3UQt8oQdxsQ1iAaBwIE/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FMGFjZGJlYmFhZGYzNzVjMjU3YzI2Mzc0MjkyMzZhNmMuanBn%253F%253D-706290" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6061897974634948290" /></a></p>Light comes on<br> Susan screams.<br> Cobwebs everywhere<br> Picks broom<br> Cleans everywhere.<br> With dust covered face, <br> she turns and gives the most<br> Heartfelt apology ever<p>Women and Men of Reflections, I should write an apology letter for abandoning this beautiful thing we have going on here, but God knows I probably won't finish it in time because the thing long die, so please have mercy on me and pardon my weird disappearance. <p>What happened you might ask? The only answer to that question is this: school happened, I know am supposed to write about what I've been up to but boring cannot describe it sef.<p>Hope everyone forgives me.<br>*bats eyelashes, drops makeshift microphone,picks the most powerful weapon ever; The pen and starts writing furiously*<p>Fellow reflectionist *sounds beautiful* make una help me talk this matter, cause I don tire to dey hear all this things wey people dey load me with.<p>I have 99 problems and depression is part of it. Are you upset cause I talk about it? Deal with it.<p>So a guy friend walks up to me and says "Nne I've been watching you for days now and you don't look happy, remember a problem shared is a problem solved"<br>I look into his soulful eyes, thanking God for sending me someone to talk to and I answer<br>"I am depressed" and he goes "Nigerians don't have depression"<p>***awkward silence*** More depressed susan*** she packs her bags and storms off to God knows where***<p>Now that scene happened for real, anyone who knows me will know that I try to be open-minded about this depression issue as much as I can, shey make I begin give definition of this depression thing? I beg to differ after all wetin google dey exist for?<p>But am going to say something about this thing once and for all. <br>1. You are weak in the faith that's why the devil attacks you with depression: Religion has nothing to do with depression, even david in the bible was a classic case of a depressive, advice the person to get Help if you can't say something else.<p>2. Get over it: (˘̯˘ ) you think I like being this way?<p>3.You only have negative thoughts that's why you are depressed: Positive thinking might alleviate depression but its not the cure.<p>4. You are weak that's why you have depression, errrm its the opposite am a mutant soldier who carry's on living despite having depression.<p>5. You think too much: like really?<p>But this is the truth:<br>i think it's important to recognize the number of factors that contribute to a person's behaviors and perception of the world.And I know that some people-regardless of their upbringing,or despite having a 'healthy' upbringing- will make poor choices.  and even then, i attempt to understand <p>Because what i know is that you cannot reduce people to hasty generalizations based on your limited understanding of their situation because of facts stated it is much more complicated than that. And also there are still so many people in this world who do not understand. who choose not to understand. and who continue to blame people for the suffering they do not take the time to understand. <br>And so if your understanding of depression or suicide is one that blames the person who is struggling with the mental illness, i would challenge that your knowledge of their life and experiences is incomplete. i would challenge you to have one conversation with a person who has had thoughts of suicide, attempted suicide, or who struggles with a mental illness. i challenge you to be curious rather than judgmental, open minded and open hearted. <p>I challenge you to seek to understand rather than assume that you already know, because you really do not know. <p>For those whose suffering feels unnoticed,For those people who feel quietly stuck inside their mind, those that feel hopeless,whose cries for help are mislabeled or misunderstood as cries for attention or flaws in their being,For the people who feel too tired to continue living,For people who struggle with depression and For people who don't,For people who are having a bad day,or kerosene subsidy hit you, or Nepa keeps robing you of your joy, or those who have horrible bosses, for those with plenty friends yet extremely lonely and for those people who don't understand the illness but are willing to try. <p>There is still time to ask for help, to smile, to heal, to live, to love and to recover<br>There is still time for sunshine, love and every beautiful thing you could ever imagine to come into you heart, there is still time to live again.<p>And for those asking why I cut my hair in the first place, I did it because I wanted to attempt suicide, and I thought people would notice I needed help for my condition but people only made me feel worse about it, and yes I finally found help for my condition, even though its hard to talk about sometimes. Get help if you are depressed.<p>If you ever want to talk about somethings or nothings, please do email me <a href="mailto:edensue7@gmail.com">edensue7@gmail.com</a>.<p><br>Love Suzanne.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-76367001787151940162014-05-27T13:26:00.001-07:002014-05-27T13:26:43.090-07:00SPOILER ALERT+Random RamblingsHey sweethearts! I am terribly sorry I haven't been writing frequently! Here is something to make up for the past months.<p>P.S I have a new blog : <a href="http://suzanneobasi.worpdress.com">suzanneobasi.worpdress.com</a><br>Please do check it out and let me know what you think. In the mean time, enjoy the read.<br>******************************<p>A day has passed since my world collapsed around me, and I had to go through the torture of watching it in anguish and pain; yet a part of me is awesomely glad that all those things had happened for they could have been the ruin of everyone involved.<p>Am starting to think that I have a FETISH for broken hearts and the scars they leave in their wake. Because with each passing of every tragedy, I begin to crave for another.<br>I should probably call myself the SCAR COLLECTOR (spoiler alert!) Someone else has that job description but with a different name.<p>Only that with this tragedy I find myself devoid of any humanly emotion possible.<br>Am bereft of the pain that actually follows after a tragedy.<br>I feel tired and empty.<br>I keep staring into space, thinking the same thoughts till my brain starts to ache and I fall into a fitful sleep.<p>It will pass, I tell myself.<br>Until I Read John Green's awesomely happy sad book The Fault in our Stars, I cried for an hour hoping that the tears might bring release not because it gives me sheer pleasure to do so even though am not ill with any terminal disease, I felt completely in sync with the main character in the book.<p>Spoiler alert! He made all the stories up, even though it was too surreal to be fiction, I laughed as hard as I cried.<br>I never cry for books or movies *puts on Badass geek glasses*<br>But with all the roller coaster of emotions swirling in circles around me, I find myself constantly upset and Bawling is the only logical Reaction my weary brain could think of.<p>Some infinities are greater than other infinities.<p>you damn sure get to choose your battles, but the truth remains that no matter how many battles you win, the constant War we engage in with the universe just to be noticed because we fear OBLIVION leaves us at constant loss.<p>Striving to win a battle but losing a war is as good as not being existent.<p>Choose wisely Sue.<p>For now I demand to be left in peace to actually enjoy the gift of PERSONHOOD, even though its never easy.<p>Just like Hazel Grace in the book whom even with faulty lungs she survives, yes she does.<br>So even though my world has crumbled, I am going to rebuild it, like Mike said "But the realization that feelings can come over and over again is liberating"<p>Yet I will not forget to live in the moment.<p>Till my emotions allow me (Spoiler Alert!) I am not going on a Hiatus.<p>I shall be sane for a little longer. :)
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-1562825864113823602014-05-02T23:49:00.001-07:002014-05-02T23:49:38.384-07:00ON FEELING USELESSHave you ever felt useless?<p>Am sorry, let's get a little bit personal here. Shall we?<p>Precisely about a month ago I started having bouts of this feeling in spasms and it kinda gets to me- I am just being honest-<p>It's like i want to be as useful as I can be in whatever it is I am doing, helping with whatever little experience I have gained over the years. But it only seems that people have no interest in what you can do; they would rather pay you to do what they want you to do, even the ones you have no knowledge about. At least I try to learn to do it, and I don't feel angry about it. Anyone who knows me on a personal level knows am all about learn, UN-learn and re-learn strategy.<p>It's the same everywhere ranging from our families, friends, relationships and the larger society. It's so sad that people tell you that they accept you for who you are and in the next few seconds they are already telling you what they would like you to change about who you are, trust me they are very subtle about it. It may seem like a harmless advice most of the time but trust me if you go down to the root of this matter the only person that benefits from the so-called change is the adviser.<p>In my personal relationships, I often feel useless. It's like I want to be as funny, entertaining and inspiring as I can to help people in my own little way, but they don't see it that way, I feel that people want you to do the things that you can't do, and they get disappointed when you don't do those things, most times I don't even have interest in the things they want me to do.<p>They want you to do things their way regardless of how it makes you feel. They say things like; I am only looking out for, I only want the best for you. Without them even listening to what you have to say.<br>It's only proper that I set things right here.<p>Here is what happens when you try to change who you really are based on what people's opinions are. A life filled with depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses, and it doesn't get better.<p>It's safe to say that my kind of introvert is extreme, while growing up I wasn't the outgoing type; people called me weird especially my mum, my friends made fun of me and called me "granny", so I decided to change. I started doing things that were out of my comfort zone, started acting and pretending, it's ok that after so many years my brain decided it has had enough. What followed next was Depression.<p>My brain told me girl, I am tired of having two personalities, no more acting and pretending, I am shutting down until you learn to be you again. We all have our dark days but until you learn to face your demons headlong they will keep sitting on your lungs till they choke you to death.<p>There's something wrong with this picture. There's something wrong when I feel like I can't create a life according to my strengths, but my life can be judged by my weaknesses. And they're not even weaknesses. They're just the things that I can't do. And most of them, I really don't want to do either.<p>I have to evolve further. Instead of expecting these people to get it, I'm the one who has to get it. I've got to stop relying on and allowing other people to define me and my worth.<p>I realized that if I have to do what everyone thought I should be doing I would become a mutant and become crazy. Or if<br>I became depressed anytime someone made a joke about how overweight, boring, stupid, or worthless (that's to say the least) I was, I would be a patient at "yaba-left" (its a home for people with mental issues)<p>It's fine for me to feel useless when I'm actually being useless, when there is evidence to back up that claim.<p>When I am trying, working. Learning, brain-storming and sweating, but the results of that aren't visible to anyone except me; it doesn't mean I'm useless.<p>It does mean that others can't possibly see my world through my eyes. I have to forgive them for that. And I have to forgive myself for not realizing all of this sooner.<p><p>Love Suzanne.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-68317877930607789212014-03-17T11:01:00.000-07:002014-03-17T11:02:00.893-07:00I NEED A MOMENT<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim8C8JX6XGipzByotIEr9ubIFYWwnyA5jZOT9HR_B45vQmXy3AUKJ3z9qBXhiXoFOAysDcpLEujhyphenhyphenTC7u4vaBpO09wCRXadHDE6TcjLZhAl9712-uWY1uemzlatExKhVFftsZsiLFbaAY/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FNDAxMDFfNTY2MTE0NDc1MjE1XzMyNDAxNzI5XzMzMTEwOTY5XzI3MTMwNF9uLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-720894"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim8C8JX6XGipzByotIEr9ubIFYWwnyA5jZOT9HR_B45vQmXy3AUKJ3z9qBXhiXoFOAysDcpLEujhyphenhyphenTC7u4vaBpO09wCRXadHDE6TcjLZhAl9712-uWY1uemzlatExKhVFftsZsiLFbaAY/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FNDAxMDFfNTY2MTE0NDc1MjE1XzMyNDAxNzI5XzMzMTEwOTY5XzI3MTMwNF9uLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-720894" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5991820060621572146" /></a></p>I need a moment.<p>Don't look shocked, you knew this was coming.<p>I need a moment to get away from this nagging voice inside my head.<br>The voice that used to be my source of comfort when you tortured my soul, only that now it seems like a curse, because its threatening to take away my sanity.<p>I would rather have my sanity than have you beside me.<p>Even though you are my guilty pleasure. Maybe I should give in to you just this one time. I swear it feels so good to have you here; or……….. I would rather not.<p>Don't stare at me with puppy eyes. I have become oblivious to your charms.<p>Don't caress my flesh; I have become immune to your touch.<p>Don't even dare to whisper sweet words to me, talk is cheap. a lot of people seem to have something to say these days. At least I could make sense about what they say because they talk about how lovely the weather is today, how someone stole money from public funds, how BH is going on a killing spree, how there are so many evils in our world today; but your whispers are empty nothings.<p>As it would seem yesterday, we had an amazing time together. We were high on each other, the urge was so great that I couldn't wait to be in your arms; conscious of what I was doing, my soul was crying out begging for release but you would have none of it. <p>You used me. Are you surprised? because I seemed to enjoy it too.<br>But It was all for the glorification of your master; you weren't even doing it for you, <br>I like your master better because he has balls, you are nothing but a pawn in his hands; just like I am. <p>After all was said and done, you left me feeling empty; because for each time you go, a little part of me goes with you. Guilt overshadowed me; I have contemplated suicide three times this morning.<p>I need a moment.<br>To think about whether I would take my life, because just like you, I have a master too. And there you thought you owned me. <p>The truth is I betrayed him. <p>I made a modern day Baal out of my selfish desires to please my flesh. Judas reincarnated.<p>I need a moment. <p>To think if I must continue to have my fleeting pleasure with you or return to my master.<p>But wait…………..<p>I already decided on what I needed to do. <br>I will take a moment to say these things to you.<p>Leave me be!<br>I will have no part in your senseless games anymore.<br>I won't let you use me anymore. <br>I won't feel the need to kill myself each time you leave me feeling empty and worthless.<br>I will be free.<p>Or will i? <p>I know better than to feel any remorse for what I am about to do to you, I am dumping your sorry ass.<p>Knowing my master enough, he won't even blink before accepting me, even though he would have none of my evil deeds, he wholly accepts me.<p>Unlike you, who was always all up in my face about my flaws.<p>I choose to not kill myself like Judas. I know that no matter how badly my performance is; he will wipe my board and give me a clean slate.<p>I need a moment to say a prayer for me and all those people you cheated on me with; those who are still swooning and drooling over how amazing you are, they would come to know the truth soon.<p>Last night I called you dearest, it sounded so good to be with someone who gave me temporal comfort, tonight I tag you 'SIN'<p>I choose not to fraternize with you anymore. <p>Just in case you were wondering who my master is. Ask your master to tell you but wait again……….he will just lie and belittle my master to up his rep; so I will do you a favor by telling you.<p>He is Jesus Christ the one who taketh away the "SINS" of the world.<p>I need a moment more to tell you this.<br>Never again will I hear your name and feel butterflies in my stomach.<br>I am casting you away like the piece of trash that you are.<p>I need a moment to tell you this too.<p>I love someone else now. You have become my EX and it feels so good to say that without any pain in my heart.<p><br>So long, farewell. <p><br>With indifference,Suzanne. <p> <br>
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-82483771766572470542014-03-11T15:57:00.001-07:002014-03-12T16:16:45.627-07:00RANDOM MUSINGS<div class="mobile-photo">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6VpCLiJvwYtKzznwxXSATYtxaTK3UJynnNKwvlmR8HrN0FB6nsWS6tSC1VUTBT14920H816nJsXeajzrYfnc_TXffN6XA-5YmGRa-qpRbAz-BWHAtNaRMCWPD9JdT7nxOjwowAwKYdgU/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FNmIxOGIwOGY1YjkxY2QwODNkMzdiZDE2OTVkMThhNTguanBn%253F%253D-734583"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6VpCLiJvwYtKzznwxXSATYtxaTK3UJynnNKwvlmR8HrN0FB6nsWS6tSC1VUTBT14920H816nJsXeajzrYfnc_TXffN6XA-5YmGRa-qpRbAz-BWHAtNaRMCWPD9JdT7nxOjwowAwKYdgU/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FNmIxOGIwOGY1YjkxY2QwODNkMzdiZDE2OTVkMThhNTguanBn%253F%253D-734583" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5989669629264233634" /></a></div>
So here I am, lying down and thanking God that Mtn decided to spare us the hassle of cursing them to mars and back.
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Found out that simi lost her dad, even though they weren't close and all that. just reading about his death from her brother too made me realize how grateful I should be on behalf of my family.
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My prayers go out to her family.
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Here is a thing or two I thought everyone should reflect on.
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We have become so engrossed in our selves to an extent we no longer have time to care for others, yes they might be in our thoughts, prayers on our lips everyday but reaching out to our loved ones enables them know and understand that we are out here soliciting for them.
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We may not be aware of the struggles that goes on in everyone's life,
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we may not be there when they take their last breath on earth.
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It goes a long way when we know deep down that we didn't just say I love you's, we showed the love and was privileged enough to share this persons life in one way or the other.
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I know its easier said than done.
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Yes we might get so caught up with our work, school or most times doing nothing.
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I implore you to reach out to that relative,friend,parents even foes because you only get to live once and leave your mark forever.
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Write that letter, make that phone call, and try to visit.
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Be kind,Be kind, Be kind.
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I will take my own advice and try to do same.
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Love Suzanne.
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-62105108489991876882014-03-05T10:50:00.001-08:002014-03-05T10:50:07.335-08:00SATISFY THE WORLD, HELL NO!!!!!!!!<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq03xVv5Phc016bk6lZGuZkpS6uzqvxbIG_fkbs5A81dP_lB6SPsNktELA8ZnZXuw5ZDXYr2J8ABpfJyQ894iOPoBlup16Rb_tTecWr6thzZD3fxoh0zB1h2tooE_aPHej7rrOxR0J9l8/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FReKAolDigKJTLu6cslRoZW9waGlsdXPimYLumbzunJYoXykoMykuanBn%253F%253D-707335"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq03xVv5Phc016bk6lZGuZkpS6uzqvxbIG_fkbs5A81dP_lB6SPsNktELA8ZnZXuw5ZDXYr2J8ABpfJyQ894iOPoBlup16Rb_tTecWr6thzZD3fxoh0zB1h2tooE_aPHej7rrOxR0J9l8/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FReKAolDigKJTLu6cslRoZW9waGlsdXPimYLumbzunJYoXykoMykuanBn%253F%253D-707335" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5987379438139771266" /></a></p>So am sitting in my room; horrible cramps, laptop open and can't seem to understand why my laptop just starts acting out, typing words and they reproduce themselves right before my eyes, trust me it's frustrating. . . . but I did not come here to rant even tho the <br>thing dey pain me well well. And don't ask me what that picture is doing there *comic relief I guess*<p>First of I want to say that I am sorry, but this time I term the excuse very flimsy. I lacked inspiration to do a thing. Also the next time I will put up a post it would be on another platform, I have to do the official hand over post.<p>I love Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey, and yes he my muse for this post. While listening to his song; which you can download here: <a href="http://188.138.99.222/yt/d/92/the_horse_the_man_and_the_son_2_of_2_.wmv_mp3_63255.mp3">http://188.138.99.222/yt/d/92/the_horse_the_man_and_the_son_2_of_2_.wmv_mp3_63255.mp3</a>. If you can't understand yoruba get someone to do it for you, its a great song. <p>The world is a small big place, and the variety of people that live here can drive you nuts, but life would be boring and Bleh if aliens kidnap them and disappear overnight, leaving just you alone to enjoy the riches. <p>Yeah right! Like that is going to happen anytime soon. <p>Baba Ebenezer says in his song that there is no intelligence, Good manners, road to riches etc. You know, that can satisfy the humans that live in this world. <p>The way you like a thing done isn't the way I like it done. one man's meat is another mans poison. I can't make you like me or the other person down the street,so today I employ you to look at every situation you are faced with carefully before opening your mouth to offer your opinion.<p>The truth is most people don't really care about what you have to say, because most times no matter how a person does a thing, it can never satisfy you except you do that thing your self.<p>Try as much as possible to respect everyone's descision no matter how crazy it may seem and even if you don't agree with it. <p>I am done trying to please people.<br>Most folks are. <p>There is no harm in advising a friend/foe, or dishing out constructive criticisms and stuff. but if you start shoving your ideas down my throat, I might as well do what I want/need to do.<p>Be kind with your words.<br>Life shouldn't be so hard.<p>P.S Baba Ebenezer ends the song by saying do your best and leave the rest. <p>*singing* commander Suzanne, do your best and leave the rest* <p>Love Suzanne.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-50429795336128194032014-02-23T23:27:00.001-08:002014-02-23T23:27:44.529-08:00DEFINING ME<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrJlLxx7dGT_g20GppKpQ_xvXM0X7osMSw9lSKMFiwy-7D3bzkZB7EyFojzdKsWm_nkY-8I3xG_AiIDRcjodt9E1dNpsm6bwPGkrZJsKFdqkP30R6fZz51PnAWUIjWXP4iVcG2ykWVGNk/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FRmFkb2p1IEJhYmFqaWRlIFNwZWNz7pyyLiBIZXhhdmlhLiBGb3VuZGF0aW9uIDM2MC4gUG90dGVycyBMb3VuZ2UuanBn%253F%253D-764530"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrJlLxx7dGT_g20GppKpQ_xvXM0X7osMSw9lSKMFiwy-7D3bzkZB7EyFojzdKsWm_nkY-8I3xG_AiIDRcjodt9E1dNpsm6bwPGkrZJsKFdqkP30R6fZz51PnAWUIjWXP4iVcG2ykWVGNk/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FRmFkb2p1IEJhYmFqaWRlIFNwZWNz7pyyLiBIZXhhdmlhLiBGb3VuZGF0aW9uIDM2MC4gUG90dGVycyBMb3VuZ2UuanBn%253F%253D-764530" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5983863819358323986" /></a></p>I think its safe to say that I have had the busiest month ever. But not to worry, I will be back. Bigger and better. <br>How was your weekend? <br>Mine was dull except the tiny fact that I met the amazing trio at Ask the writers-episode 1 on saturday.<p>So here is a little something I penned down, and am super sure that a lot of folks will relate to it. Enjoy the read and have a beautiful and productive day ahead.<p>Thanks to peace itimi of <a href="http://peaceitimi.blogspot.com/?m=1">http://peaceitimi.blogspot.com/?m=1</a> and annette davies for editing it.<br>............................................................<p>Perhaps the best way to define a thing/person is to find out what its not.<p>I am not the clothes I wear,<br>Neither am I the shoes on my feet.<br>I am not the extensions I attach to my hair<br>I am not my underwear, which by design are meant to not be seen<br>I am not the glasses I wear, just so we are clear I ain't myopic in nature.<br>I am neither a slave to the material things that tempt me endlessly.<br>All these things and more are just physical and there are what I am not.......<p>A persons like or dislikes has nothing to do with who they are.<p>I like chocolate<br>I love the color blue<br>I like music<br>I love to write<br>I like art<p>But this things are not what I am made of, they only define the things that make me happy - The things I take pleasure in.<p><p>Let me tell you who I am.<p>I am strong..brave.. And determined<p>I take no pleasure in mediocrity<p>I wanna be rich and famous - ain't even going to deny that.<p>I have a beautiful mind<p>I am complicated but like a puzzle that may look scattered,I come together to make a beautiful picture<p>I am wonderfully and fearfully made.<p>I am loved.<p>So, don't go defining me by what you hear on the rumor mill, people have their own opinions - doesn't make it true<p>And Yea, don't even go defining me by my temperament.<br>I'm only human, I get mad and make mistakes sometimes.<p>Now, here I am telling you that:<br>I don't bite,<br>I won't smile so much that it annoys or freaks you out but neither would I frown - all I want is your comfort.<br>I would 'try' to answer all you ask but I can't meet all your expectations - I'm only human.<br>I won't hurt you deliberately but they'd be times we'd want to hate each other - our differences as individuals would always speak up at times.<p>All I'm saying is: I'm not perfect, I make mistakes but I'm deeper than you see in the surface and I'd never intentionally do anything to hurt you.<br>All I'm asking is: Don't just go saying sh** about me and before you go defining me; actually take time and KNOW ME - The Me I know (or at least close)<p>Love Suzanne.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-58967564812705248102014-02-13T11:04:00.000-08:002014-02-13T11:05:24.722-08:00EMOTION THURSDAY: YOU MUST LOVE ME<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheQ3XkL2oqWsrgyiRduQgmYm6JBfqtFDzNSnigJRC_wwG2C1H9-XoN9PxNDxJIX9oarFAi439j15KTa1YOvP6Lb5WRT5vqcnsHOoLSHiHn-Q1_ZLF1Rcy7hVEFd2ufdgmmYkjEJa7iYhg/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FWW91LU11c3QtTG92ZS1NZS1XYWxscGFwZXIuanBn%253F%253D-724722"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheQ3XkL2oqWsrgyiRduQgmYm6JBfqtFDzNSnigJRC_wwG2C1H9-XoN9PxNDxJIX9oarFAi439j15KTa1YOvP6Lb5WRT5vqcnsHOoLSHiHn-Q1_ZLF1Rcy7hVEFd2ufdgmmYkjEJa7iYhg/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FWW91LU11c3QtTG92ZS1NZS1XYWxscGFwZXIuanBn%253F%253D-724722" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5979961672083204930" /></a></p>Hey everyone. Its less than twenty-four Hours to valentines day. I can't feel the love in the air yet! Since I am in a rural area with no inspiration to write.
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<br>"Love sure is a beautiful thing"
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<br>Here is a beautiful piece from a dear friend.
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<br>Enjoy the read.
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<br>I sit here contemplating whether to call your cell phone or not. I check my account balance and realize that its exhausted, Talk about dilemma!!!!!
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<br>Just within 20 mins my phone rings and its you.
<br>
<br>How on earth did this happen?
<br>
<br>And they told me telepathy was a vague idea.
<br>Took me 30 seconds to pick up.
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<br>Trying to put up a front that doesn't show how excited I am about talking to you,
<br>
<br>you see:
<br>
<br>You were on my mind the minute I woke up.
<br>
<br>Butterflies in my stomach
<br>Inability to concentrate
<br>Sweaty palms
<br>Stuttering when I speak.
<br>Rapid heartbeat
<br>Clumsiness in another dimension even tho I enjoy it sef when am awkward with you cause you get me.
<br>
<br>Above all that the joy I get when I am with you.
<br>Like time could stop and fade sef
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<br>You are my friend first and it makes utter sense that I get this feelings.
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<br>There were series of in betweens but you are like nothing I have experienced.
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<br>Well I have no idea, if you feel the same way but it doesn't matter.
<br>Because for me to experience this feelings, its a privilege for me.
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<br>If this is what love feels like, I am happy i felt it for you.
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<br>But then, I see it in your eyes whenever you call my name, your careful choice of words, your inability to understand why my sing-song voice affects you so much.
<br>You want to make me happy each time even if its at the expense of your own happiness.
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<br>With this evil smirk on my face, it suddenly hit me.
<br>I Don Catch you.
<br>Today nah today. You Must love me.
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<br>XoXo
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<br>Sushy green. @ICCSTN on twitter.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-64016019222266113022014-02-06T06:04:00.000-08:002014-02-06T06:06:38.184-08:00EMOTION THURSDAY: MANY THINGS<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI11RA-6MW6WyUEcAE9I_CsiDQJiLXDhoS_9JIulgh0EeqNLV6yeC-5m9bKH5otIHRWcwO1z9ifgvtaIBMN4JLA3YShufEKpkQv9zt-HBjCWLqiwmgxK-hPddUjruhFbj6r3RD9jQh8Ak/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FQWJ5IFB1cnBsZUhlYXJ07pyyLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-798184"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI11RA-6MW6WyUEcAE9I_CsiDQJiLXDhoS_9JIulgh0EeqNLV6yeC-5m9bKH5otIHRWcwO1z9ifgvtaIBMN4JLA3YShufEKpkQv9zt-HBjCWLqiwmgxK-hPddUjruhFbj6r3RD9jQh8Ak/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FQWJ5IFB1cnBsZUhlYXJ07pyyLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-798184" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5977287082205623746" /></a></p>Hey y'all I know its been ages. But I always have an explanation. I just hope its worth it. <p>So my internship ended last friday and I have been horribly busy since then. I know I promised that this feature every thursday, trust me PHCN has not been faithful to me as usual.<p>Here is a piece from walter shakes, I hope it inspires you as much as it inspired me.<p>Disclaimer: the writings here are the opinions of the writer. And by no means the ideas of Reflections.<p>Enjoy the read.<p>I do not understand the world.<br>The world, it would seem, does not understand me either.<br>Life is full of paradoxes, and the people who live in it perpetuate them. Life's often called a bitch – I assume the hobbies that earned her that moniker keep her very busy. But I wish she will take a moment from all her bitchy business to answer some of the questions I have milling in my head. Like, why the world encourages you to be who you are, and the right people ill love you for it. And yet, when you are exactly that, all the people that matter, and then some, will form a solid wall of disapproval. <p>I am many things, most of them a riot of personalities.<br>Reserved yet genial. Introverted yet appreciative of company. A lover of good humor and laughter, often stricken by long spells of welcome brooding. I write lots of words, and often times, I find very little of them to speak. Music and stories are a balm to my soul, and the joy of company a welcome catharsis. <p>I am many things, and God made them so.<p>And the world wants me to be all of them, as much as I can be. Yet it brings woe on me for doing just that. That's the irony of life, I suppose. <p>One of the many reasons she is called a bitch. Because no matter what battles you pick, she will always make ready a sufficient variety of opposition. Those who stink of disapproval and judgment.<p><br>At the end of every day, I always come to one realization – to not rely on the gratification gotten from others. It is fleeting. Here now, then gone. To be who I am, whilst mindful of the people around me. Because ultimately, my happiness is no one's gift to me, but my objective to accomplish.<p><br>I am many things, and all of them I am resolved to be. <p><p>Walter Ude.<p><br>You can follow him on twitter @Walt_Shakes, <p><br>And he blogs regularly at <a href="http://www.mymindsnaps.wordpress.com">www.mymindsnaps.wordpress.com</a> .
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-54735159608567344262014-01-20T08:21:00.001-08:002014-01-20T08:21:14.514-08:00THE BEGINNING OF THE END + 20TH POST<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFl4Wdjt693e9bfEamSg9gOISXTrpg4TaCMK3VrRHLeSBQ4G6fQe955uMdpvZuFLylYyTezCZwxY2ixPRei5VWVlriO17Ox9rp_wmyAaRA7F6SWtYuqvWWYwvkkKmOrm8s5_QP2IGO4Zk/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FR2VvcmdlLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-774514"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFl4Wdjt693e9bfEamSg9gOISXTrpg4TaCMK3VrRHLeSBQ4G6fQe955uMdpvZuFLylYyTezCZwxY2ixPRei5VWVlriO17Ox9rp_wmyAaRA7F6SWtYuqvWWYwvkkKmOrm8s5_QP2IGO4Zk/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FR2VvcmdlLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-774514" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5971013319271555954" /></a></p>My days are numbered.
<br>
<br>
<br>And, no am not talking about my days on earth, am speaking specifically about my days as an intern.
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<br>See how quickly time flies sha. Feels like just yesterday when my dad was consoling me because I nearly passed out when I looked for a place to intern at and just couldn't find one for two months, crazy right?
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<br>Am sure if you had to stay for a month doing nothing, you definitely will feel my pain gan (shout out to the students affected by Asuu strike, 5months no be beans).
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<br>Just last week someone asked me about my plans for school and beyond and I was in a daze about what to say.
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<br>I realized that I have to stop thinking about what I want to do and figure out what I should be doing instead.
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<br>Looking at the amount of wisdom and growth I have amassed since I was seventeen, it sure is mind blowing. But I have God to thank for all that has happened to me since then. The good, bad, and the ugly.
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<br>"One day you are 17 and you're planning for someday. And then quietly without you ever knowing, someday is today. And the someday is yesterday. And this is your life- John Green"
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<br>When I started this blog, I was a bit anxious about how I was going to get people to read my stuff, but I had amazing people who pushed me to see further than today, and I kept writing, it's been wonderful since then. I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, shared, commented and criticized my blog. Moving forward without fear of the future and am sure it's going to be awesome. Here i am saying thank you for your love and support.
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<br>God is my muscle. Heading towards the future geared with positivity, determination and a smile, knowing that God's hand is in it all.
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<br>P.S its 20th of January and it's my 20th post.
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<br>
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<br>Love Suzanne.
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<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-11997624119405019952014-01-15T04:41:00.001-08:002014-01-15T04:41:35.828-08:00EVERY DAY IS BEAUTIFUL.<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZenmcLo4u9_1Rez4LS5uWcM2qZVmlQQiluV0Gqj-ykyXyTY0DWXRAttv3bLnLrXhKfxO2kXR_FubwyusEKn-nfDsd9_jh-hDJKhUnD6eQw5FwS0tRiTokgXgI4cyHfszMll6tnGYFfMg/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FMWRkYjA5ODliNzc1MmRlNTkxYmRmYWQ2Zjk2NjUzY2YuanBn%253F%253D-795829"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZenmcLo4u9_1Rez4LS5uWcM2qZVmlQQiluV0Gqj-ykyXyTY0DWXRAttv3bLnLrXhKfxO2kXR_FubwyusEKn-nfDsd9_jh-hDJKhUnD6eQw5FwS0tRiTokgXgI4cyHfszMll6tnGYFfMg/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FMWRkYjA5ODliNzc1MmRlNTkxYmRmYWQ2Zjk2NjUzY2YuanBn%253F%253D-795829" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5969101291556298290" /></a></p>Hey y'all. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week. This is just something I thought I should share.<p>There are times that we wake up in the mornings and feel like you fell off a cliff somewhere. Due to the fact that we had a lot on our minds the night before or there was an unsettling in our spirit.<p>We drag ourselves out of our beds/mat and murmur words that hardly sound like prayers and more like someone was forcing you to have a conversation when you don't want to, but because its a routine to pray, you just have to do it. (I can see people nodding their heads in agreement) <p>But truth be told. It doesn't matter what problems you are having, or what trials you are facing. All that matters at that point in time is knowing that God is bigger than any of your problems/trials you have or will have.<p>You are not dead,sick,suffering from temporal or permanent insanity and definitely not memory loss. <p>Its not news that I dance on my way to work, on this fateful day, a mad man, a homeless man, cause he spoke to me in clear english and said my child. Why do you always dance and laugh every time? I was scared, but I answered and told him, Because I am Alive and well. He told me something I would never forget "Never give that up for anything".<p>There are times when I wouldn't even want to wake up, but I just get my worship on and sing a brand new song to my happiness. <p>You have the ability to infect someone with happiness. you may not know it. But people watch your every move, someone might me having a bad day and feel better by just seeing how happy you are. <p>So here is me saying no matter what you are going through. Every day gives you a chance at a fresh start. Learn to find beauty in what doesn't seem beautiful.<p>Also remember that psalm 30:5 says that God's anger last only but a moment, His goodness for a lifetime. Tears may flow in the NIGHT, but JOY comes in the MORNING<p>Smile the minute you wake up, even when there is nothing to smile about. Lamentations 3:19-24 says that even when the thought of pain and homelessness is like a bitter poison, and its all I can think about that it makes my spirit depressed, hope returns when you remember this one thing.<br>The lords UNFAILING love and mercy still continues.<br>FRESH as the MORNING and as sure as the sunrise. <p>Christ is all you have. And it doesn't get better than that. Smile, it makes it all easy.<p>Here is a song from Jamie Grace, titled beautiful day. Makes me smile am sure it will have the same effect on you: <p><a href="http://50.30.32.119/yt/d/db/jamie_grace_beautiful_day_lyric_video_h264_44018.mp4">http://50.30.32.119/yt/d/db/jamie_grace_beautiful_day_lyric_video_h264_44018.mp4</a> <p><br>Please comment and share your experiences about how you get through each day.<p><p><br>Love Suzanne.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-15433690887845931192014-01-12T07:18:00.000-08:002014-01-12T07:19:59.484-08:00GRACE TO FORGIVE<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikdeDnNaxYKm6TdBk1n8qodQFaLBIbcd0pBU125hdmO0ur3Fx58e2UsiziYlF2syN9Ktj4YhyphenhyphenmHgeIcOvWxbQcVKoPvXXokYLNwklLoDxnFXG9RH0PKiJ7QLX40hsZAxaJ7XI6TvAaoG0/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FZ3JhY2UuanBn%253F%253D-799484"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikdeDnNaxYKm6TdBk1n8qodQFaLBIbcd0pBU125hdmO0ur3Fx58e2UsiziYlF2syN9Ktj4YhyphenhyphenmHgeIcOvWxbQcVKoPvXXokYLNwklLoDxnFXG9RH0PKiJ7QLX40hsZAxaJ7XI6TvAaoG0/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FZ3JhY2UuanBn%253F%253D-799484" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5968028852386780994" /></a></p>I can't believe what she/he said!
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<br>I can't believe what they did!
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<br>Don't they know its wrong.
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<br>How could they treat me like this!
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<br>I feel like I missed the clue!
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<br>Its like a dagger is tearing through my chest.
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<br>The choices are laid before me!
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<br>Love or hate?
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<br>It doesn't feel right to just turn a blind eye at what they did
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<br>But I realized its my pain
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<br>And I have to deal with it.
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<br>70X7 times you said.
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<br>But its not much of a deal
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<br>When I think of all that you have done.
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<br>I now realize that I have to take offense because I will be offended.
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<br>Love or hate?
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<br>The choices are laid before me.
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<br>Even if I choose hate, it won't change their hearts.
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<br>But my pride won't let me lay me weapons of warfare on the ground.
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<br>I build bridges only to tear them down.
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<br>Most times I think the pain would go away
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<br>When I get the apologies I crave.
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<br>Truth be told,it doesn't matter if they are sorry or not.
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<br>Freedom comes only when I surrender to the sound of your mercy and grace.
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<br>Heb 10:17 their sin and lawless acts I will remember no more.
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<br>Father help me forgive them
<br>They don't know what they've been doing.
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<br>Even when I feel like I am the one losing.
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<br>Grace to forgive and forget is all I ask.
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<br>Because I have the life of christ in me.
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<br>I don't want to act like an elephant who doesn't forget.
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<br>Because you forgive and forget.
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<br>I choose to do the same.
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<br>I choose to love.
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<br>I choose to forget just like my father does.
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<br>Grace to forgive.
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<br>Grace to forget, that's all I ask.
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<br>Love Suzanne.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-19532870682061437812014-01-09T07:38:00.001-08:002014-01-09T07:38:47.100-08:00EMOTION THURSDAY: DEAR HEART!<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ0QNUnoJ6J6OWLwzNck7LbkNkW7HDpExjYtQ6C03VtgjWsUVZzOVRZwiCb8wz4XwpyaCjJODDl9QUzVYzbMTkkJsTadx5rfhsus3wBkBHrPLtCzXsbBoKzxWAnngisn_Ay6wZfZL2MHY/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FZGVhciBoZWFydC5qcGc%253D%253F%253D-727101"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ0QNUnoJ6J6OWLwzNck7LbkNkW7HDpExjYtQ6C03VtgjWsUVZzOVRZwiCb8wz4XwpyaCjJODDl9QUzVYzbMTkkJsTadx5rfhsus3wBkBHrPLtCzXsbBoKzxWAnngisn_Ay6wZfZL2MHY/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FZGVhciBoZWFydC5qcGc%253D%253F%253D-727101" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5966920441757098322" /></a></p>Hey everyone! How is your day going? Well am sorry for not posting earlier than this. I have been out of touch with myself lately and had to put so many things In place. Am glad I am back, alive and well. And I hope you are too? <p>Its just 9days into 2014 and I thought to start new series that would be regular from mondays through sundays(different tags tho). Today is tagged 'Emotion Thursday'. I would be sharing a piece called 'Dear heart' its the daily dialogue that goes on with our inner man, the confusion et all.<p>I would appreciate feedbacks, and I am going to be accepting entries from others who wish to be part of the series. Ranging from articles to letters, talking about what confuses human, ranging from the easiest to vilest of sins. The confusion that ensues in our lives.<p>Please do send you entries to <a href="mailto:edensue7@gmail.com">edensue7@gmail.com</a>. I would love to read and feature your thoughts.<p>I would start off with mine. Enjoy the read.<p>Dear Heart!<p>I won't shower you with pleasantries, because you must be still hung up on the binge of emotions that easily beset you.. Most times I wonder if I belong to you or you belong to me?<p>They said follow your heart, but I am afraid it has gone too far, exceeding proper boundaries and taking me into territories unknown. I have decided not to accompany you on that journey. <p>Because most times I end up being the one at risk hence making my eyes swap its white color for scarlet like rainbows after a thunderstorm. Only that it has just two colors in its repertoire (Red and white. Red is so not my color.) <p>You developed a mind of your own, grew wings and feet and took off for your adventures, you only ended up getting us into trouble. Now I am afraid to do a review of my life because I don't know what I would find,with your recent escapades am sure I would be disappointed with the ratings.<p>You assailed my thoughts with doubts all because of your emotions, you tour all the wrong places in search of love and acceptance. Leaving me wasted and drained in <br>No wonder the good book says in Prov 4:23 above all else guard your HEART for it is the wellspring of life.<p>But now I know better, I choose to trust in the lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, resting in his will and watching him set right the paths that I tread.<br>Knowing that it ain't about me and you any longer, but the masters will, not about what I want but what I need. Because I desire a will and a calling above mine.<p>So before you decide to apologize and I get sucked into your mess again. Here is what I have decided.<p>I AM GIVING YOU OUT!!!!!<p>Yes!<br>To him whose will I desire above mine,The creator of all flesh.<br>To break and mend us back again.<br>So here is me saying though you may be frail and fail,<br>God will strengthen you and remain my portion forever. <p>Here is to a new beginning, a fresh start and a peace filled life. <p>P.S In case you are planning on rebelling against me, know that I will keep renewing you till you have no other option than to succumb to God's will. And yes its a do or die affair. <p>I ain't judas nor peter, so don't give me that forlorn look, Its a done deal.<p><br>With indifference<br>Suzanne.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-53041025478314936842013-12-30T10:36:00.001-08:002013-12-30T10:36:07.883-08:00THANK YOU'S 2013<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4bf4dQiNrjniMKApQHpZncyI1buzZoOwN5t8jb446Slub13iqgjbWGriDL_tChdRVc2zWl9bjujjHxIEXqLB5TtqzGaXV3a74skn8oYb29hgQYP5gRZW9LRmZV5cZWGsmbQNy1VVq-6A/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FOTc3ZTg4MWQ2NWU1MGY2MTExYzQyMDY4NzE3MmFiYmUuanBn%253F%253D-767883"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4bf4dQiNrjniMKApQHpZncyI1buzZoOwN5t8jb446Slub13iqgjbWGriDL_tChdRVc2zWl9bjujjHxIEXqLB5TtqzGaXV3a74skn8oYb29hgQYP5gRZW9LRmZV5cZWGsmbQNy1VVq-6A/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FOTc3ZTg4MWQ2NWU1MGY2MTExYzQyMDY4NzE3MmFiYmUuanBn%253F%253D-767883" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5963255294427050770" /></a></p>Hey guys! Well I feel like 2014 is here already, but I have to tell myself that my calendar is filled with illusions and all that daydreaming stuff(I live inside my head). Now back to reality its just a day to an entire new year, and I want to take time to say my thank you's to those who have made my year worthwhile and to those who taught me some crazy lessons even though in my wildest dreams I would never have thought they would do the things they did, 2013 was a big year for me, and I wouldn't have made it without you guys. If your name doesn't appear here, it doesn't mean you are forgotten, it simply means my poor brain is acting human. For everyone that crossed my path I remember you all, in no particular order. <p>Iheanacho Chioma cynthia sushi Tata Green, I really never understood all your reasons for adopting all the plenty names,spending time with you for 12mnths straight taught me the beauty of friendships,tolerance and acceptance of sovereignty. I am blessed to have a friend like you. <br>Enyindah sunny peter, thanks for being my friend,confidant,backbone, if I start saying thank you I fit go on till next year. Thanks for pushing me to aspire to dream big. I see a huge 2014 for us.<p>Itimi jopesi this my small madam. The first blogger that allowed me into her space. Thanks for being kind with your words and encouraging me beyond reason to walk with God. I value your friendship,may we never lose contact.<p>Princess ucheonwu, chai this my chubby girl, you helped me when all was lost, kind words et all, may I never lose u.<p>Michael okeyode, you this friend of many years, nobody smart pass you mehn, we share the same birth dates and I qualify you as brother even if we hardly talk. P.S I have a blackberry now and it hasn't helped our communication. <p>Frank coal, bestie to dah gan. Thanks for being there.<p>Belema,oluchi,lizzie what would friendship mean without having you three. I wouldn't want to think of it.<p>Xuzia and torious God bless you guys for the laughter and good music I was graced with through you this year, I wait in earnest for the mixtape.<p>Emeka nobis, hammed ajiboye,sola fajana, leke alder,steve harris, eloxie, and all those twitter people. I bless the day I heard about you guys, turned my life around. I wait in earnest for your book mr emeka. God bless you guys. Adewunmi Goke you too are a blessing.<p>Uje,aby miss purple heart, ugo ukam, Afoma. this bloggers turned friends are women that would shake places in time to come. Am blessed to have met you guys.<p>Benny, I know even in secret you pray hard for I and pp. For your comments et all. May grace never cease from your life.<p>ANNETTE DAVIES for this friend that won't go away even with distance, I love you gan, can't wait for the shopping sprees and country touring when we finally become rich and famous. P.S I am waiting for that day, so you can actually join this streets of twitter.<p>And to all the other awesome folks that time and space won't allow me mention. I love you all for the support and criticism that pushed me forward. my stalkers and haters yes people won't always like me. 2014 is a huge year for all of us. I won't lose any of you and I pray earnestly that God in his infinite mercies grant you all grace to see the new year and surpass your own expectations. Amen.<p>P.S if I offended you in the course of living my life,online/off line, knowingly or unknowingly, I am truly sorry, and I hope you find a way in your heart o forgive ol' sue.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-57104182109741131512013-12-17T08:54:00.000-08:002013-12-17T08:56:12.264-08:00HUNGER IS A GOOD THING<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5TQrcs9r3RX8Qr6mtQ2A-0OvPaxQp87GsuhLEWKo-rbIDeXFS9kjYqci5bHDe3xQieEnALpPv0whlS3v0OBzgTDODl9OdLKmQg9LW54p3FE5EVWBNSAEOTjdm9X2K-UGgNraqqpV3Lqg/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253Fz4nRlNGV0YLJpSAgzYIgzJAgzYQgzYQgzYIgzJAgzYQgzYIgzJDMt%252B6csi5qcGc%253D%253F%253D-772265"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5TQrcs9r3RX8Qr6mtQ2A-0OvPaxQp87GsuhLEWKo-rbIDeXFS9kjYqci5bHDe3xQieEnALpPv0whlS3v0OBzgTDODl9OdLKmQg9LW54p3FE5EVWBNSAEOTjdm9X2K-UGgNraqqpV3Lqg/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253Fz4nRlNGV0YLJpSAgzYIgzJAgzYQgzYQgzYIgzJAgzYQgzYIgzJDMt%252B6csi5qcGc%253D%253F%253D-772265" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5958405436379969730" /></a></p>As a student I have always felt that being hungry was the devils way of frustrating my educational pursuits, but today my perception of hunger changed for real. The year is almost gone*thank GOD for the gift of life* and I am grateful for a lot of things that happened to me this year, good and bad alike, but one thing I learnt in 2013 is to never underestimate the power of relevant relationships both online and offline, these things have the power to both wreck your happiness or build you up to a level that would definitely blow your mind. But that's not what I want to talk about tho (another post is coming for that one).<p><br>Hunger is defined as a Strong desire for something (not food or drink). I like that definition because am not talking about food here am talking about a strong budding desire for success, for change, for something positive. 2014 is just around the corner and very soon we all would say merry Christmas and a happy new year and 2013 would be left behind. I would like you all to stop and ask yourselves this question, what have you been able to achieve as a person? Have you been able to see some of the goals/plans that you set, thru? Made any impacts lately in the lives of people? Well don't beat yourself if you haven't achieved anything or done anything.<p>I listened to a podcast from Steve Harris today ( download it here---->> Get started,Get hungry) and it made me realize that hunger is a good thing. And I will try as much as possible to relate with you guys what I have learnt from him. <p>When you are hungry, you look for ways to fill your tummy with food, you down whatever you see with so much ease then suddenly your hunger is satisfied, and when you get filled to the brim you become relaxed and then your body starts to react to all the things you put inside it, you start barfing (if the food is in excess), belching, farting etc. the body looks for a way to give out what it was given, and if there is no outlet the body might be threatened to go under. Just like the human body requires food, it also has another kind of hunger. It could be hunger for success, knowledge etc. things that only benefit the human mind or have some form of impact in the world. <p>Its not ok to be comfortable with a level of success you have attained, Hunger will make the difference in 2014, when you feel you getting comfortable because you think or feel full,purge yourself of the stuff you have already gained or ingested and watch yourself grow beyond your wildest dreams. Surround your self with people whose dreams intimidate yet inspire you, write your dreams/goals down and set about working on them, every day make sure you do something to get you closer to the realization of that dream.<p>Its not enough to talk about it, stop telling people about your what you want to do,Just do it mehn,let them see those dreams come to life and have no choice than to talk about it, no money abi? Invest time, as a young person, time is your greatest asset.<p>I am talking to everyone that feels being mediocre is no longer good enough, until you realize you are born eagles walking among chickens,you won't be able to fly. Make a commitment to not just talk the talk,but rather walk the walk. Ruthless execution. Marry that girl,write that proposal,start that business,write that book etc. And I am sure the results would sure blow your mind. See you in 2014 people.<p>Don't forget Ruthless executions. Don't talk about it, Be about it<p>Love Suzanne
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-82494511127488208542013-12-16T00:51:00.001-08:002013-12-16T00:51:40.350-08:00LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmETC3mxxMGUZgUN2C6tCTIsCYepp_CJXXYEdqiSquRZ7a1BEJlCIWU27XRSZna9qkkJGkZGEVCDhmuiuVw5ClqH44ZtUZeA5J-TH_SsaM297-hqdGQjJH-lr6AM59RzWPW_6jME3e438/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FWHV6aWEoMikuanBn%253F%253D-700351"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmETC3mxxMGUZgUN2C6tCTIsCYepp_CJXXYEdqiSquRZ7a1BEJlCIWU27XRSZna9qkkJGkZGEVCDhmuiuVw5ClqH44ZtUZeA5J-TH_SsaM297-hqdGQjJH-lr6AM59RzWPW_6jME3e438/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FWHV6aWEoMikuanBn%253F%253D-700351" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5957909488073407698" /></a></p>Hey everyone, its December again and the weather is definitely not in my favor but the truth is this, I love holidays and am sure you will all agree with me, even if most of the time is spent with me watching reruns and lying in my pajamas feeling lazy. Gone were those days when holidays were spent moving from one relatives house to the other eating rice and chicken and also collecting neat bank notes for keeps to show off for school later, mehn I miss my childhood days.
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<br>But music helps to keep body and soul, that's why I decided to write this post for those that are in love with GOOD music……. Introducing a good friend of mine (ok just famzing sha) "Xuzia Nyenwe Sam Woruka" I so love this dude and his music in totality of purpose****sue stop with the English already****. After hearing one of the songs on his mix tape which is set to be released next year thru my very wonderful friend sunny(God bless you for infecting me with the Xuzia fever), and is sure to blow your minds away. I couldn't help but fall in love with him already, did I mention he loves cake and every other sweet thing you can imagine, did I also tell you guys how cute he is? That's him in the picture feed your eyes.
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<br>His voice; I lack words to describe it and as thoughtful as ever he has blessed our hearts and ears with good music for the season, have fun listening and catching the fever too. So if you hear this music playing on the radio in your city feel free to call in and request it. Life shouldn't be so hard. Remember Christ is the reason for the season
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<br>Here is one from me to you; *it's a new day, it's a new season, I wanna love you like its Christmas morning*
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<br>Like it's Christmas from 'Xuzia': <a href="http://bit.ly/13FAf8R">http://bit.ly/13FAf8R</a>
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<br>Feel free to follow him on twitter @Xuzia02 and tell him how you feel about this song.
<br>Merry Christmas and happy New Year in advance
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<br>Love Suzanne.
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<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-68260776317650031602013-12-15T21:57:00.001-08:002013-12-15T21:57:44.042-08:00AN OPEN LETTER TO MR SMASH & DASH<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioijUFRGlzGM2WDl7SNVohhjoib7ItL22pwt-xHMjVimnRKqhqtCaPX3VrtO7A08WcCniRC38uvsxaF7UWLjbELxZR7Zr5sBxRlc-AxDsAdtZWu1_I1CmoyPvcCIX1U1mjtottIPjBedA/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FaW1hZ2VzLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-764043"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioijUFRGlzGM2WDl7SNVohhjoib7ItL22pwt-xHMjVimnRKqhqtCaPX3VrtO7A08WcCniRC38uvsxaF7UWLjbELxZR7Zr5sBxRlc-AxDsAdtZWu1_I1CmoyPvcCIX1U1mjtottIPjBedA/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FaW1hZ2VzLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-764043" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5957864664594392674" /></a></p>Hey lovelies(too much blog reading,turn me to oyibo woman),hope you guys had a swell weekend? I did oh and well am seriously so sorry for not posting this when I was supposed to do so. *you need reasons?* well it's just partly because my body decided that's its long overdue for a break, I can't have. So bear with me. So the response I got to the first letter was amazing, it's good to know that there are folks who would air their views regardless of what peeps say about decency and removal of sexual ills in our society. Here is a letter directed at the one night stand bobo (that's guy in Pidgin English), enjoy the read. <p>Disclaimer: this letter is not directed to any group or one person, but if the contents spur you to live right then dear, change for good. But if you have no need for it please share with your friends and let's make this country and the world at large a better place to live in. let's get down to it.<p>DEAR Mr. Smash & Dash.<br>Hey, how are you? Hope you are doing great? That name makes me remember cow and chicken but that's not what I want to talk about (definitely you don't want to listen or read about cows and chickens). I heard you scored bragging rights for one week oops sorry 5 working days, congratulations. But wait what exactly are we celebrating? Oh ok you added another unsuspecting girl to your repertoire of "slept with" list. I take my congratulations back (no be fight sha), I just don't think it's appropriate for me to say congratulations for hurting my kind (I am no feminist) but I will definitely not support your movement. <p>I happened to stumble across you having a conversation with your buddies about how you had rambunctious (noisy and lacking in graces or discipline) sex last night with that girl you met at the club and how you made her want more to a point where her orgasm was so powerful that it turned the TV on, I nearly screamed liar, and the devil would sure agree with me that all you said were manufactured from the pit of hell, according to a guy I spoke to recently he defined one night stand as a tradition where two people usually male and female come together to have awkward sex and regret it later, no other definition cuts it for me. One night stands for guys are seen as rites of passage just as a woman sees her first period, so tell me, where did you have such awesome sex when one night stand sex are usually lacking in graces? You don't have to answer that because you and I know how that went with the last girl. Ask her, I sure wrote to her about the state in which you left her before she departed your apartment.(Read the letter here) <a href="http://t.co/q3IsWjzxf3">http://t.co/q3IsWjzxf3</a> .<p> But there were some things you also forgot to tell you buddies too, but some of them already know how you felt because they do this things too. From the anticipation down to the bragging, there was Fear and Shame in between.The fear of not being adequate, not being able to deliver good sex but you ditched that and said to yourself it's just a one night stand and nobody cares if its lousy or not. The fear of STD's and risk of HIV/AIDS so you wore a condom and felt the fear disappear. Unto the shame, after the sex the shame crept in you couldn't believe you had just done what you promised yourself never to do again, well you made sure the shame disappeared few days later and then the bragging came later that's where I heard all you said. But dear let me explain some things to you in the next few paragraphs.<p>You don't remember her name neither can she remember yours, you have no plans of ever talking to her again, but even if you do just remember that each time you sleep with a lady a part of you goes with her and Vice-versa, so please calculate the number of women you have slept with, that's the amount of tiny you's scattered around and tiny her's infused in you, need I also remind you that whenever you have sex with a girl,you also have sex with her past (that is all the men she has slept with,you sef don sleep with them,scary right? *am not saying you are gay sha* but you get my drift). The Afrobeat king, fela anikulapko kuti once said in an interview for THE NEWS MAGAZINE 5 APRIL, 1993, PAGE 29 to be exact, and "he said sex is power and you must know how to use it well. Sex itself is deceitful because you can be having sex with 30 people at the same time while sleeping with just one person all nah for the mind". But you should ask yourself if that's what the creator of all flesh wants for you; I will leave you to answer that for yourself. <p>I have been able to gain insights into the world of men by the sheer power of conversations with beautiful minds, but I must not forget to remember the things I have learned from them, let me share some of those lessons with you. No matter how handsome, rich and nice you come across to every lady you meet and intend to sleep with, those qualities alone in a man are minor compared to a man with a strong value system, a beautiful character , a humble soul, a God-fearing spirit, an intelligent mind and a teachable spirit. Also that the number of girls/ladies you have bedded doesn't make people term you to be a success in life( maybe only to men of your kind, who fraternize with you on basis of habits), it rather only makes you look undisciplined because you lack control over your own sexual organ, a man with no control over such a powerful tool that has the ability to birth generations into this world or destroy him like wise is weak, and no man wants to be seen as a weakling, therefore the same way you guard your heart from heart wreckers, guard your brokocus (sex organ) jealously, Give no room for the enemy to make you slave to anything earthly most especially sex.<p>Likewise, I mustn't forget to remind you of one other thing Mr. smash, some of those girls you meet in shady places have future ambitions, some big dreams, dreams bigger than them, beautiful hearts, minds filled with humorous and crazy stories that would amuse you, they are worth getting to know before you decide to smash and dash that is basically hit that booty and run, I give no justification as to why they would stay in such places, but there is one thing I know, getting to know a person before passing your judgments, works wonders.<p>I will write you again, but till then avoid being the guy whom everyone talks about just for the mere fact of his immoral activities or sexual prowess like you prefer, and not his achievements or impacts in the lives of people. The fear of a destroyed destiny is the beginning of sexual abstinence. <p>P.S: Avoid alcohol whenever you can, it clouds your judgment and reduces your ability to exercise your will power. I think the entire universe will agree with me that there is nothing attractive about a drunken man or a man that reeks of alcohol all or most times.<p>Love Suzanne<br>
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-35074085345340295122013-12-09T09:50:00.001-08:002013-12-09T09:50:08.379-08:00AN OPEN LETTER TO MISS OVERNIGHT RENTAL<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-QYBhtqBwnjMAd35cXxz7mhCv8Ogrq1zUNYu4WIRV9X7LtMSMjrFvL7Mn82I8W6YkpVvTPTRaDB78J0n3jiIgGNIQ9XJwGdMec5xph6q9EvVuAoJvZAUkJyCELNl3QqEn5i1cLOXlIHU/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FaW1hZ2VzKDIpLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-708380"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-QYBhtqBwnjMAd35cXxz7mhCv8Ogrq1zUNYu4WIRV9X7LtMSMjrFvL7Mn82I8W6YkpVvTPTRaDB78J0n3jiIgGNIQ9XJwGdMec5xph6q9EvVuAoJvZAUkJyCELNl3QqEn5i1cLOXlIHU/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FaW1hZ2VzKDIpLmpwZw%253D%253D%253F%253D-708380" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5955450652118445298" /></a></p>Disclaimer: this letter isn't directed to an individual or group of persons and if the contents spur you to live a better life then please do the right thing by turning a new leaf and share with your friends. But if it makes no sense to you, there are others who still need the contents herein please do share. Just for the sake of clarification, miss overnight rental is a term used for a one night stand lady. <p>DEAR MISS OVERNIGHT RENTAL, <p>Hey how are you? I guess you are still reeling from your last encounter with adventure, I couldn't help but notice your countenance this morning after your outing last night, you looked pale but I prefer to use the word Lackluster, but what drew my attention was the way in which you stumbled into your area of abode, your hair was a matted mess, smeared make-up, clothes worn inside out, shoes in one hand, cell phone in the other. I couldn't help but laugh as you stumbled out of the taxi that brought you home; you looked like a science experiment gone wrong, eyes bulging out of sockets, the color of blood. The English man calls this a glorified mess. But need I remind you that this wasn't the first time I had seen you like that but just that this time something seemed out of place with you, like there was an unsettling of your spirit, something extraordinary. <p>You see, last night before you left I overheard your mumbling about being bored and in need of adventure and fun. So you decided to hit the bar later on at night after downing common sense with a pitcher of vodka/spirit. You noticed some guy with strong masculine features staring at you, and you probably said to yourself oh am attractive. Unknown to you that was the alcohol kicking in. maybe it was because of that dress you wore out that had a ridiculously plunging neckline and the dude thought to himself that's some piece of meat, something to be savored before consuming. It sure was unsettling for you to hold his gaze for more than 30seconds and have him caress your body from afar with his eyes. But you damned self-respect and ended up playing ball with him. You weren't drunk enough to not notice that he had a terrible body odor, he hadn't shaved the stubble on his chin called a beard, he came unto you all poise and charm but drunk and slobbering like a dog in heat, and making small talk, he told you of his abusive childhood, how he grew up in a very tough neighborhood or slums like I like to call it, or his failed relationships but instead of running like death itself was chasing you, you listened to all the trash he spilled and rather pressed the DELETE, DELETE, DELETE button in your brain and settled to have fun, cause he looked handsome and rich.<p>Fast-forward minutes later you started negotiating plans to head back to his place, he had already termed you a strumpet in his mind ( that refers to a promiscuous or disreputable woman) but on getting to his place you started wishing he could see you as something worth cherishing rather than someone he wants to have his way with. But it was definitely too late. Because the next one hour was spent with him discarding that dress and having his way with you, I sure knew you never enjoyed it because he put you in inhumane positions that sent your mind screaming out for help and wishing you had never left that bar with him. After all was said and done the next morning you woke up feeling sore and messed up and not even remembering this guy's name he doesn't even remember yours and he immediately started telling you to leave his house, I guess that was why you looked the way you did this morning. *sighs* but dear let me share something with you.<p>I know you are lonely, I know you are bored, I know that you long to be accepted and loved deep down and I sure know that you have a desire to be with someone who loves and respects you; I see it in your eyes every time you look at every couple that passes by. But going out and hanging out where only men with little or no value system at all stay, or hook up (that's the word they use this days) with every tom, dick and harry that seem to be nice, handsome and looks rich then honey your vagina is in for some serious trouble, because there will always be rich, handsome and nice men. I am not saying that you shouldn't socialize with members of the opposite sex, but when your only basis for talking to the members of the opposite sex is to only appease your boredom or quench that fire of loneliness in you, you will only end up with men that only speak to you because of the sheer reason of sexual gratification. <p>A guy is entitled to his opinion after a one night stand with you and you have no control over it. Chances are that he has HIV/AIDS or any other STD's.yeah tell me how there are condoms that don't break.*i laugh at you in spanish* alcohol doesn't recognize common sense and will power. <p>Pursuing a meaningful relationship with that guy who you had a one night stand is usually zero to none. Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't go singing the blues or wearing that ugly pajamas or eating chocolate all day like someone with no life. There is one more thing I would like to add. If you give a man the idea that you are ok with being his sex object for either a night or longer you can definitely be sure that a sex object is what you would remain for as long as that friendship/relationship with that individual lasts.<br>Demand respect and I guarantee you that you won't get anything less.<p>As a woman you are the gatekeeper of your body, if you decide to let a man who doesn't see you as somebody to get to know first before letting his brokocus (sex organ) lead the way, or someone who has no respect for your being or men who have no future or have questionable character sleep with you, and use you every other weekend, on your watch then that's up to you. The quality of your life depends on the choices you make. <p>P.S these men always leave after the night, usually with hangovers. please re-consider your decisions to have one night stands in the future, chances are that you will run into these men somehow somewhere in town (imagine the humiliation and embarrassment you will face especially when you finally get someone who means the world to you).please also read 1cor 6:12-20, verse 18 clearly states that partaking in sexual immorality is a sin against your own body so choose carefully. Stop being the overnight rental chick, you are worth more than that.<p>I will write you again. Till then avoid being seen in trashy places not befitting of a lady with a beautiful future. <p>Love Suzanne.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-86906929596284522352013-11-22T02:37:00.001-08:002013-11-22T02:37:57.548-08:00FOR THE PHOBIA OF GIRLFRIENDS<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv2R1ri5wtBzni29zZZ8xwZT7ZpKgVxtDc-T4z_AzE58jBJA1hUURGK6WKEOxD8OMzaME7BHt6LjN-R5dO0IZovLEEag88JQ0643sHmZL-2X6uwbFQHsagswpxMboVWu7YSQJkZpdTV58/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FZnJpZW5kc2hpcC1xdW90ZS1pbWFnZS5qcGc%253D%253F%253D-777548"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv2R1ri5wtBzni29zZZ8xwZT7ZpKgVxtDc-T4z_AzE58jBJA1hUURGK6WKEOxD8OMzaME7BHt6LjN-R5dO0IZovLEEag88JQ0643sHmZL-2X6uwbFQHsagswpxMboVWu7YSQJkZpdTV58/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FZnJpZW5kc2hpcC1xdW90ZS1pbWFnZS5qcGc%253D%253F%253D-777548" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5949030829209088082" /></a></p>Hey y'all thanks for the amazing amount of encouragement that has been showered on me, you guys rock, and please don't forget to follow me on twitter @edensue100…….enough loving for you. Now this one is for the ladies. Please don't murder me oh; it's just my humble opinion, am open for corrections if I ever say the wrong things. but I know most women would totally agree with me sha.<p>It's no news that by the time you get to SS (senior secondary) 1, you start feeling like an adult even if they still treat you like a child at home, at school you are probably the leader of one big clique in school, you have the attention of every guy at school. life is super cool until your loyal clique members start becoming evil and being disloyal, the heartbreak is worse than even the one that the guys dish out, you know those little tricks you and your girlfriends played then, sneaking up on the guys blah blah blah and chuckling unnecessary, *well I remember my secondary school days, I was shy die tho ask for the full story later* sharing your private jokes and all those silly name tagging you guys do. But it all stops when someone betrays the trust of the clique either by disrespecting the leader, bottom line is the phobia for girlfriends usually starts out when the one girl you trusted, that one you liked better than the rest starts becoming distant or she starts liking the same guy you were crushing on, or she starts gaining the attention of your loyal minions *smh: note to self: sue you are not well gan hhahhahahahhahahah* well that's when your mental picture of girlfriends start to shift, you start seeing girls as demons to be abhorred and avoided but my sister let me tell you something it's not true jare, some of us either don't like the entire womanhood or we just enjoy putting the guys in friend zone , we like seeing the guys suffer gan(am not saying don't have male friends oh, not that my advice will adhered to sha) but what am going to say to the women who will read this is going to be outlined beneath. <p>Although the stories I was hearing back then+ my own personal experiences made me think that all girls were the same but after consulting common sense and adding the words of my heavenly father I am convinced that female relationships can thrive despite a world filled with crazy girls and drama queens. Like a dear friend of mine told me recently "Abeg girls their wahala too much" *as if she is not a girl*. Well I decided to go ahead and pursue my matter oh jare, am not a female person but there are times when I crave that female companionship, and it's that strong, have I been hurt by girl to girl relationships, the answer is yes, and I learnt some critical lessons which I will share below.<p>Girls get jealous, envious, touchy, angry at almost anything and everything, including the person that accuses others other girls of being mean, wicked or evil whichever language you like to use, the issue with those sets of people who think in such manner is that they fail to see that person as a human being that has tendency to falter, or a person who has flaws. Everyone is unique (some can be very annoying I agree) but I make it my job not to condemn anyone first, no matter how bad that person, I duly believe that every girl has something to learn from me, no matter how little the lesson may be. Also that I should refrain from judging anyone no matter how horrible the persons character is, because in judging them I judge myself also as read in Rom 2:1-3. Instead all I need to do is pray for them and correcting them with love. Ever wondered how a person's character (good, bad and the ugly) rubs off on you? It's because the longer you stay with someone the more you form habits together, you become alike in thoughts, lifestyle and countenance, decide what you want to do today influence people with your lifestyle, let them become ashamed of their negatives due to the amount of positivity you carry around you, decide today that you won't allow all the past relationships you had that left you joyless, angry and bitter to hate your kind. Ever since I changed my mindset, I developed healthier relationships even though some are distant. Remember this; Girls are fun to be with: GBAM! There is that one girl that brings out your crazy; believe it or not it's the truth. With her it's like the whole equation is complete, nothing could ever go wrong with her around, you may be the shy type but whenever she is around it feels like you have enough energy to burn a place down (literally, I would not have anyone commit arson) but am sure you get the drift. Prov 27:17 says as iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Technically if your friend isn't giving you the desired kind of love you require, increase your level of love and watch the outcome. Conquer your phobia for girlfriends; you can start with me. I still haven't forgotten all the bonds I have formed, met awesome ladies who have helped shaped my life(fashion wise especially); go ahead allow yourself love without reserve just as Christ did by laying down his life for his friends and be astonished by the outcomes.<p>I still look forward to all the bonds I hope to form with my awesome friends<new and old>, the bachelorettes, the weddings, the baby showers, the awesome drama I get all the time from my girlfriends, the encouragements, the tears, the laughter, the private jokes I share, and every other thing associated with having awesome girls as friends especially growing old together and seeing who still looks awesome at 80 or older with no tooth..Till then Let me know what you think, or your outcomes. Leave a comment and share your own story.<p><br>Love Suzanne.<br>
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-20142949391430894272013-11-21T08:24:00.000-08:002013-11-21T08:25:46.387-08:00MY PLANTAIN CHIPS FIASCO<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiP2bLp9M0LQOcSKD_CKxF_H6p3n4go-CtndI1FoEP5F9TSVzcE1jV8hjSVMpg1U50scfZwyL9L-4AYe1pl3_nN92IV6B-9fVXVSQz8JlV2aKKE9gYRvX2vIhtHjxyCvffNF5B9BjeoJw/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FcGxhbnRhaW4tY2hpcHMuanBn%253F%253D-746388"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiP2bLp9M0LQOcSKD_CKxF_H6p3n4go-CtndI1FoEP5F9TSVzcE1jV8hjSVMpg1U50scfZwyL9L-4AYe1pl3_nN92IV6B-9fVXVSQz8JlV2aKKE9gYRvX2vIhtHjxyCvffNF5B9BjeoJw/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FcGxhbnRhaW4tY2hpcHMuanBn%253F%253D-746388" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5948749376513491410" /></a></p>Chai Suzanne, when will you ever learn to control your long throat SMH? I and my sweetheart girlfriend were coming back from lunch this hot afternoon after downing roasted bole and fish (still salivating at the thought of it.) but forget my meal, on getting to the main gate of the complex where we work and saw this elderly lady selling plantain chips, not the type you buy in supermarkets, but the locally made ones, tied in these white nylons, seriously I consider those things evil, you know how filled you are but cannot resist buying them, luckily for us the security supervisor (counter man, as I like to call him) saw us and an invisible sign saying buy for them, and he paid for two of those things, you can imagine my joy. when I got into my office to eat these things(I and my girl struggled for it oh) and they tasted like chalk mixed with water, thinking it was because I took the ones that weren't ripe enough I took a bite of the other ones in the nylon, only to finally figure out that they all tasted the same, in disgust I remembered that my girl had a can of malt in her bag, without wasting time I headed straight to the bag to get it, it only made matters worse, it tasted like tin tomato and chalk water.<p>How can my beloved plantain chips turn out to be poison? I quickly ran to the bathroom to wash my mouth with the use of liquid soap (rolling my eyes) only for my girl to tell me to just use water and I would be fine. Still upset that my mouth still tastes the same and it's not funny at all (I will eventually get over it tho, I ALWAYS DO). <p>It only made me remember a saying that you don't judge a thing by its appearance that something is attractive and beautiful on the outside doesn't make useful or good, so before you take a decision or say something hereby making anyone look great or ugly depending on your disposition due to being biased through appearance, get to meet that person and know a little about him/her before concluding in your heart who the person is, or you might end up being either disappointed as I was with my chips, or end up being blown away by how great the person is. And no am not buying plantain chips ever again except am in traffic(I trust those guys than this old lady, and hunger rears its ugly head. Till then I still need mint to rid my mouth of this ugly taste.<p>Love suzanne<br>
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-82149459059621649192013-11-20T00:44:00.000-08:002013-11-20T06:10:48.317-08:00TO A DEAR FRIEND<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJiYHKaU65ca3jBk-FMTC98llNS9fRHbtn9kneLXPXrxRYa2ggKSFyM8VlFHhjF7rHJjM55JhAw1DbcYxwJC7MUd_Z-B5kCL-Bjcd0KHi6DV96FRFFpJvJYm9H_EMv7PTIdEI1he_hpSk/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FZGVhciBHb2QuanBn%253F%253D-748318"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJiYHKaU65ca3jBk-FMTC98llNS9fRHbtn9kneLXPXrxRYa2ggKSFyM8VlFHhjF7rHJjM55JhAw1DbcYxwJC7MUd_Z-B5kCL-Bjcd0KHi6DV96FRFFpJvJYm9H_EMv7PTIdEI1he_hpSk/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FZGVhciBHb2QuanBn%253F%253D-748318" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5948343511546749842" /></a></p>Dear God i am writing this to you on behalf of a friend who knows you but, whose view of you has been distorted by the happenings in her life. Please hear me out.<p>Father there is a friend i really love so much, she and i are pretty close, of all of my friends this one am concerned the most, although i know You love her more though it's really hard for her to see, with all the web of lies and deception the devil has fed her with. Last night we were discussing, her situation has worsened and of this am certain. She said she felt more like a loser because she wasn't sure of where her life was headed or if she was going to ever succeed at anything, eyes sunken inside from crying, all because she hasn't prayed in what seems to be eternity, she has been reading Your word but she isn't really learning anything, all the sermons she seemed to be listening to at church only served as death sentence letters rather than something to give her hope. There are folks who have been changed by what she has done for them, and she asked me if it was the end for her, father she ain't really sinned but she is just trapped by the voices in her head condemning her and telling her how she ain't worth anything good in her life, she keeps the TV and radio turned off because they only end up making her feel more horrible than she already feels, they make her look like she isn't worth anything if she doesn't wear makeup, or remain half naked all in the name of fashion, or objectify herself via sex all because she needs to feel accepted , she forgot that those things don't glorify you, forgot the sacrifice you made for her on the cross. Taking lashes to preserve her delicate skin, nails smashed into Your Holy hands just for her, including damaging Your legs with nails so that she can be able to wear high heeled shoes again Lol, forgot that she exudes beauty in all ramifications and no matter how i try to tell her that she refuses to listen to me, Lord its killing me to know that the devil still holds her bound with depression all because she feels no one loves her, her weak attempt to cure her depression has me crying most of the time, because she is busy seeking attention in all the wrong places, instead of resting in You and trusting your word.<p>Lord i can't bear to lose her, because lately she has given up hope of ever finding happiness, i am tired of speaking to her about finding happiness in God rather than in men, if she doesn't want to talk to You then Lord please hear from me, I will keep praying until she knows that You are the only One that can give her the love and care she desires, Help me make her know You, fill her with Your spirit till she succumbs to your will. Help her come to this knowledge 'that a man who is yet to be led by the holy spirit cannot lead her anywhere but himself", help her know that no matter how huge her sin is that You would forgive her, fill her with Your spirit, search her and point out the areas of her life that are unacceptable before You, Lord all i ask is empty her, break her, please just have Your way with her, till there is nothing left for the devil to work with.<p>But Lord, see there is something else i have been hiding…………<p>The person am praying for is really ME.<p>P.S Lord i know that there are many ME's out there please help them know that there would be no rest in their spirits until they come to the knowledge of You, help them understand that You don't need a perfect vessel to show Your glory to the world, You need them in all their imperfectness and weakness to turn them into a thing of beauty, to be used to your own glory, help them understand that You alone can give joy, care, peace and every other thing that we crave in our human existence.<p> <br>LOVE SUZANNE
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-30999867722357769352013-11-15T07:57:00.001-08:002013-11-15T07:57:10.141-08:00WHO'S LOVING YOU<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC3itAuedCKnbupaLaAsK_sQ39KdKWjyTa4rctXM_O8v3fx-5__pFuaON7ZdYRCk3QJ6d6buqX3dL0A49C2L98YLuYjtFI8YeiSN-cF1QOYa_XmFRTwj41RsqBSo0CiU7GLbWHmq0tzw8/s1600/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FdGh1bWIoMSkuanBn%253F%253D-730142"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC3itAuedCKnbupaLaAsK_sQ39KdKWjyTa4rctXM_O8v3fx-5__pFuaON7ZdYRCk3QJ6d6buqX3dL0A49C2L98YLuYjtFI8YeiSN-cF1QOYa_XmFRTwj41RsqBSo0CiU7GLbWHmq0tzw8/s320/%253D%253Futf-8%253FB%253FdGh1bWIoMSkuanBn%253F%253D-730142" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5946515495643409090" /></a></p>I asked myself this question for several years. when I was wallowing in self-pity at not having the kind of love I desired, until recently I got the answer, yes I did. someone raised a question the other day about a girl at the office, he asked her, if there was anyone she was seeing at the moment. and she obviously said yes, he went further to ask if the love the person had for her had no bounds she said yes. but I think she actually said yes so as not to discredit who she was dating, but the answer got me thinking, of all the people who had loved me at one time be it male/female, relatives, friends et all. how many would have gone lengths to love me without reserve? And I couldn't come up with an honest answer. Am not saying they never loved me, rather am saying no one loved me without reserve because at one point in time they all left cause of reasons best known to them. I am guilty too tho but I know better now.<br>Most of us are in one form of relationship or the other, some profitable, most aren't but due to the fact that we crave acceptance and LOVE on a daily basis (you should see my crave meter) and when we don't get the acceptance we desire we tend to become sad and bitter leading us to end up doing things to make us feel better about ourselves(hurting ourselves in the process), we want people to know, understand, and love us senseless, you know that part where you have this sense of belonging, and happiness that there is someone out there who would do anything and everything to make sure you never have to cry in your lifetime, the joy that comes from just hearing that persons voice , judgments passed with gentleness, no harsh words, ultimate source of comfort, your river of hope, your stream of unending joy, galaxy of love but the last time I checked only God has that on his CV/Resume. You might argue with me and say oh my boo/friend/ relative/parents love me in this manner not only God, but lemme help you clarify something's. You see humans are erratic (dynamic) in nature, people change quicker than the night turns to day, people get bored of other people, tired of hearing you blab about your problems etc…… but ever since He told me that He loved me before I ever thought of loving him back. You see He is God, He never changes and He isn't tired of you telling him your problems, He won't ever reveal your secrets to anyone as opposed to humans who are unreliable, God craves relationship the way you do, He wants you badly, ever since the fallout of man from the garden of Eden He has been looking for a way to reconcile man unto himself and he did by sending his son to die for me, for me no other love can be compared to the love God has for me, even when I mess up badly and make him upset He still gives me the chance to ask for forgiveness and He forgives and forgets as opposed to humans who practice forgive but never forget , He loves me and I sleep easy knowing that no matter what am going through He is beside me, telling me sue relax its just a phase, He is as creative and funny as it gets one minute you think your world is ending, next minute you are laughing and saying thank you for your works are wonderful, yes I get my creativity from Him, I could go on and on about the love of God but most of you probably won't read it because you doubt the things written saying how can a holy God love a lowly sinner like me, I want to tell you that He loves you unconditionally with your sin and He is saying come let me break you and make you anew, so don't say wait let me clean up my life before He can love me, He is saying come let me clean you up. He knows your thoughts and even before you speak he knows the words that word drip from your lips. See the thought of him loving me blows my mind away.<br>So before you allow yourself get carried away by the kind of love the world gives to you, I want you to know that there is someone who craves your love and because you were made to please him, you will be so empty until you turn back to him. He loves you publicly, privately, lonely, lovely or ugly. He loves you without boundaries, broke or rich, fine or ugly, any which way he loves you. So in your quiet time where you think and meditate know that God is asking you this question; "my child. WHO IS LOVING YOU" <p>LOVE SUZANNE <br>
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-63484385384940751632013-11-07T08:26:00.001-08:002013-11-07T08:26:05.393-08:00CHASTITY AINT STUPIDITYHey y'all I know I haven't been consistent in my promises but it's hard when you really down, health wise and don't have the motivation to do anything but I have taken time out to pen this down. Not forgetting the open letter series coming soon. Please be patient with me.<br>So I was listening to the conversations of a group of people on the bus the other day: guess what it was about? Well you wouldn't believe how horrified they were at the rate at which ladies open their legs easily just for cash or whatever numerous reasons that they felt right, I was embarrassed but at the same time a bit irritated by the thought of these girls doing things to bring shame to the entire woman race, Don't get me wrong I don't hate on my kind, but whatever affects them affects me. So here I am expressing my thoughts on this issue the way I know best. You see as a lady it's hard to do certain things and get away with it and trust me it gets at me sometimes because there are things I want to do as a lady(crazy things, ask me later) but I can't do them because the society has crafted out what is expected of us as the weaker vessel. But that one nah topic for another day, a friend of mine posted something on Facebook the other day and I couldn't help but laugh and also reflect on what he was saying, he said that most women are crying everyday about how men are breaking their hearts and still jump into bed with every tom, dick, and harry that has a car and a good career or proposes marriage*laughs*. Am not going to play the blame game here but am going to go ahead and say this to every guy/lady that finds time to read this, who is in any form of relationship including myself. <br>Firstly to the guys, you all claim you want a girl who loves and cares for you and all what not's that you desire, especially to the ones who want decent girls but can't help than to keep their eyes to the numerous wanton/wayward girls in the street and give the excuse of "guys are moved by sight" one day your sight would give way to you going ahead to sleep with whatsoever person you see on the streets. That's why you have so many who even after getting institutionalized (married) still find themselves desecrating their marriage vows. But thank God for self-control sha most men are finding a way to control their sexual appetite its a struggle for most but I respect their courage and resilience and I pray that God would help them remain faithful to their partners irrelevant of the tempations we ladies throw at them. How do I know? I have been privilegded to listen to most men tell me their stories and what they still struggle with. <br>Unto the ladies who this post was intended for right from the start, you don't have to go naked for a man to fall crazyily and helplessly in love with you. I see women everyday, on the streets, at work,internet and all over the place, and the message they pass across is please I have no value and I need a man to have sex with, this write up may offend you but I believe my message will definitely get across.They sell themselves short hereby condeming other women who aren't practising their way of life. I would like to say before anything else that most men are getting tired of seeing ladies expose their bodies. You go around giving your heart to every guy that sweet talks his way into your head, telling you what you need to hear, how many men do you have to sleep with before you get to the one? how many handbags,lands,clothes and material things do you have to acquire by living in immorality before you learn how to be chaste. He shows traits of being an abuser, a thief and a liar and you still say you want to be with him, he has no reverence for God, no regard for the cross. All because you can't stand the thought of being lonely,Remember loneliness lead to desperation and when you become desperate anything is acceptable and u settle for less, something inferior other than what christ had in mind for you. The part I can't comprehend is the part where these so called ladies after all these acts still expect to get someone wonderful to settle down with forgetting its not about getting married, its about staying married,Not forgetting the part where they have someone who loves them to bits and pieces and because of money decide to go sleep with a guy who has cash but wants a sexmate. With illusions in this girls mind that he will get married to her. And am like Really? Where were you when he was suffering? When he had nothing to eat, ladies guys can smell a fake from afar, sleeping with older married men just goes a long way in showing how desperate you are *smh*. All these are just peanut as to what these ladies do.<br> Ain't judging but its a sick trend going around that women have lost their value system,self esteem and self worth. I like to think I was created for a reason so ladies here is the answer before the question any man who wants your heart would Go to christ knowing its in his possession, refuse to cheapen yourself for loose change knowing that if you work as hard as you can God would reward your efforts (then you can buy as much material things as you desire) *cant wait to buy my first car tho*, do not settle if he ain't the one it ain't him. Some relationships are toxic and can only bring nothing but pain stay away from men who abuse you (mentally,physically and emotionally) and wait for that one person. But before then remember that Christ loves you publicly,privately,lonely or ugly without conditions and he want you to give him all the keys to your heart and stop loving him from a distance. He wants to make you happy only if you let him. <br>Love who you are only then would others be attracted to you<br>Remember to leave your comments and feedbacks I love hearing from you..<br>Love Suzanne.
<br>Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-23138643719784412662013-11-05T01:47:00.002-08:002013-11-05T01:50:42.434-08:00LIVING IN DENIAL<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Adobe Fan Heiti Std B";">I get easily
upset when people don’t do what i want or when they don’t say what i want them
to say to me, or act in a certain way that seems right to me, it’s a sad place
to be really cause when you expect others to not do the same things you are
doing, cause you definitely wouldn’t want anyone to be in a place that taunts u
and keep you wondering if anyone would look at you with love or say nice things
to you. i get to tell others how they should act in certain situations and what
is expected of them as humans but do i take my own advice? Why do i doubt
myself so much? Why don’t i believe in myself? Why doesn’t anyone care about
me? all these things are running through my mind even as i put up the brightest
smile known to men, yes i have the power to make people smile just by looking
at you, the power to bring comfort just by the words i say, the little words i
say have the power to bring back broken spirits from a place of torment, yes i
can do these things. I am smart as i can be, beautiful in my own way, witty and
funny as hell or at least that’s what i tell myself</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Adobe Fan Heiti Std B";">But…………………………</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Adobe Fan Heiti Std B";">it always starts
with a harmless “but” that person is faring better than i am, more beautiful
than i am, has more friends than i do, is lucky to have someone<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to rely on, she is so popular, how can i
compete with that? been asking myself these questions for years until i
realized i was harming myself more, i couldn’t grow i remained at a spot,
lonely and depressed yes i had clinical depression, i lost my self-worth, even
if you wouldn’t notice. i was so scared at ever venturing out of my shell
because i felt that interacting with people would only make me feel worse than
i was feeling already, i was torn inside fighting with my will to survive and
how i was going to get through each day without doing something stupid to
myself. i started becoming bitter and hateful, mind you, it never showed cause
as human i had a way of covering up for myself putting up defenses between<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>myself and the outside world, bubbly on the
outside but just a child begging to be loved and accepted on the inside, i was
stuck. I heard voices every day in my head, screaming at me hurtful things
like; you are useless, you are too dumb, see how stupid you are, the worse was
you will never go far in life. Like the voices in my head wasn’t inflicting
pain enough. The society helped solidify the voices in my head with its usual
train of thought. Thoughts like; you aren’t beautiful, you are too fat, you
don’t have any style, you lack social graces, and lots of other hurtful things.
the only avenue to escape this was to stuff my face and my belly with food, see
the enemy got a hold of me through gluttony<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>oh it felt good to be able to pour my anger out on something other than
myself , i ate to feel good, i stuffed my mouth and stomach with things that
elated my spirit and made me feel good about myself, then i grew up, age wise
and i started hearing about someone<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>who
loved without asking for nothing in return see i was a Christian yes i went to
church, i knew how the Christ came to set me free and all but i guess the
preachers message didn’t just come out right at all cause i would go to church
and come back the same way i went there or worse, cause you see the church was
made up of the same people in the society<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>only that on Sundays they get to play dress up and act the movie
called<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>holiness featuring his brother/sister
self-righteousness as the guest actor/actress. Meanwhile their lives were
either as messed up as mine or worse. I have never felt so nauseated by the
mere gathering of people in one place. It grew worse by the day so i stopped
attending services or would only go there when there were fun things to do. But
i had a problem, i knew forsaking the house of God was a sin but where would i
turn to for help? But the answer i got was a resounding silence. With my inner
man seeking answers i knew i had to act fast. then i went down on my knees and
asked for help the loneliness and hate i carried was like a big burden on me,
and i was so sure that i couldn’t bear them alone, the answers i got shook me
to the core. he spoke to me with love , saying if only i knew the things he had
to bear just for me to live, the pains on the cross he had to take in just for
me, the anger the father poured on him just to save me from self, if only i
knew, if only we knew that we didn’t have to beg to be accepted cause someone
accepts us, beg to be loved cause his kinda love is unconditional without
measure and selfless, all the comfort we desire are only meant to be found in
him not in any man made of out of the dust of the earth only then would we
truly be happy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Adobe Fan Heiti Std B";">You might shake
your head and murmur to yourself “oh that’s sad” but the truth is that there
are so many people living like this but are in denial of the truth, I just want
you to know that no matter how horrible you are feeling About your situation,
you are never alone cause he keeps wishing you would turn back to him instead
of yourself or some lowlife for comfort and watch how he turns your situation
around. You don’t have to go through it yourself. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Adobe Fan Heiti Std B";">Trust him
(Christ) it’s all he needs you to do</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Love Suzanne</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00648694417058066684noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7822567306046130801.post-37142011875423393922013-11-05T01:46:00.000-08:002013-11-05T01:50:42.438-08:00IT COULD BE WORSE<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Hey everyone, thank God for the grace to be stronger than I
was feeling before, it’s a new month and all so first let’s start by saying a
happy new month to everyone who has encouraged me this past few weeks, am
grateful. Love you much gan. Thanks for all your comments and criticisms*yes I
had a million of them (just exaggerating sha)* but I thank God for the change
he has been able to effect on me as a person and others around me. So let’s get
down to it.</div>
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Yes I had an unusual conversation with a friend one certain
time like that, and she was complaining about how bad things were for her and
that she needed prayers so we prayed together and while praying she developed a
new spirit and started praising God am sure she left that place feeling better
than she was feeling *never underestimate the power of praise* but along the
line I told her It could be worse than it already is. So take your time every
day to analyze whatever pain you going thru and tell yourself that it could be
worse.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>may be facing
difficult times, trying periods, you may have a difficult boss *like mine*,you
might be homeless and not have food to eat, you might not have had the best
life anyone would envy, you might not even have a job, people look down on you,
your health might not be where you want it to be, you go to church and the
pastor says your miracle is on the way but you are tired of hearing all those
sermons, I could continue but the trials of life no dey finish but all I want
to say is this praise God all the time even in your difficult situation and
watch how things go. Even your mental health would improve greatly cause you
won’t have to worry about anything cause he takes you burden and makes it his.
So next time when you about saying anything about your condition ask yourself
have I really handed it over to him, have I said thank you for the gift of
life, look around and look at the situations of other peoples life and you
would be truly grateful for where you are right now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Look yourself and say thank you lord it could be worse than
it already is but you are always here for me and am sure tomorrow would
definitely be better than today.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel (if the
devil turn PHCN take am, switch on your generator, light must dey there) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PRAISE YOUR WAY OUT OF THE STORM AND REMEMBER GOD IS NOT
ATTRACTED TO YOUR PROBLEMS, HE IS ATTRACTED TO YOUR PRAISE</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
LOVE SUZANNE</div>
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